1/4 Century

I made it back to South Carolina for Christmas. Today I slept until 11:30, which I haven't done in probably 2 years or so, but it felt amazing. I'm so happy I have 2 weeks of this. 2 weeks of no alarms, no work, no nothing but being lazy. It's awesome.

I'll be 25 in a few more days. 1 more day to be exact. It really feels like the past few years have just flown by. I wonder if it's natural to stop and think how old you are before you answer? Sometimes 23 comes to my mind really fast, but then I remember I'm 24, about to be 25. Weird.

Dusty Wood

Time to dust off the blog, and write a new post. What's it been...too long?

Instead of making up an excuse for why I haven't posted I'll just get right into it.

I have a roomate now! Paul is my new roomate, and he is in my small group at church. Paul needed a roomate because the condo he was living in had too many people, according to the condo association, so he had to find a new place to live. Which works out well for me, because I wanted to get a roomate, but didn't quite know how to really search for one. I was sort of holding off until someone I knew needed a place to live, and it all worked out.

I'm also seeing a girl now. We're dating, but we've only been on 3 dates so until we go on more I wouldn't call her a girlfriend just yet. I do know we get along really well, and that I'm attracted to her, and I'm pretty sure she's attracted to me, so it's going well. The dates are fun and she is laid back, and has a good sense of humor which I enjoy.

Work is work, not much to update there. I'm thankful I have a job now with the economy, but I am still working on getting my resume all cleaned and polished and will keep an eye open for other opportunities that may arise. Until then, I'm trying my best to go to work, do my best, and leave out all the rest.

I'm really looking forward to Christmas break, really, I am. I'm looking forward to spending time with my family, friends, and a break from frigid air.

Something else is that I've been having problems with my Honda. Some observations about Honda:
- They don't like to admit when their products exhibit a problem
- They don't have good customer service (not as good as Saturn)

I told the regional manager, when he called me to talk about my problems, that one of the reasons I bought a Honda was because of the repuputation for reliability and good service, but that hasn't been my case so far (4 times to the dealership in 12,000 miles). He said "Well, Mr. Smith, that's your opinion, not a fact and I work off of facts". Ooof. I forgot, you can tell someone their feelings are opinions and not valid, because that's the right thing to say as a customer service representative. Anyway, my Honda is at the dealership overnight tonight being fixed and I have a loaner car, which I am thankful for, although it's a Nissan.

I'm off to bed now, I need sleep to finish out 4 more days of work until freedom.

Snow Day

It's 21 degrees outside and it's snowing. I'm on my couch, with the curtains open, under a blanket, warm. This is nice.

Thanky G

This past Thanksgiving was one of the best I can remember, for multiple reasons (these are the things I'm thankful for):
- I suprised my family with a visit
- I went to Florida away from the snow for 4 days and saw the sun
- I didn't throw up this year from overeating like I did 2 years ago
- I watched Home Alone on TV
- I saw 2 great 80's movies - Mannequin and Karate Kid
- I finished my book, "The Curious Incident of the Dog in The Night-time". It's REALLY good, especially if you like math and/or you're midly-severely autistic
- I slept on a comfortable couch
- Walter was happy to see me
- A 14 hour "welcome back" workday - I'm thankful I have a job and money since apparantly my house tax went up $1,200 for 2009. I think this is a mistake, so I need to get that figured out soon

Anyway, I'm back, and I feel refreshed, and 14 hours of work (see past posts for about 3 months of how much I hate it) can't bring me down today. Welcome home.

Saturday Sun

I felt a little better yesterday. I spent a good portion of the day at Barnes and Noble in Troy. Troy is about 35 minutes away, but sunlight here in winter is precious and taking a 35 minute drive to be in the sun is worth it to me. I sat in the cafe for a good 4 hours or so working on my resume. When I put everything I've done, work related, on paper, it seems pretty impressive. My position sounds really great on paper. I'm proud of my resume, but it looks pretty wordy and packed full of stuff. It still needs some cleaning up which I'll be doing. After that I may post it here for some feedback. I also did my Bible study so yesterday was a very productive day for me.

If you're reading this, I'd like your home mailing address. You don't have to give it in a comment, you can just e-mail it to me.

The Pokemon of the week has been updated.

How To Write A Personal Mission Statement

This is how

I like looking at the WikiHow of the day on iGoogle. Today's was a good one. I think it's nice to have a mission statement.

This past weekend in South Carolina, although a whirlwind, was JUST what I needed. I feel refreshed and motivated (more than before). Christmas will probably be even better. Coming back to 3 inches of snow didn't even bother me.

Things to do now:
- Update/Polish resume
- Enroll in a German class
- Tutor math
- Find a girlfriend

A Long Update

A lot has happened since I wrote a good, well thought out post. So here we go.

I guess the first thing I can start with is work. Paul told me he has this rule, and it goes like this. You don't think about work outside of work - ever, for any reason, period. If you do, you put an end to those thoughts immediately. Maybe this post will count as thinking about work outside of work, but it's a good way to get thoughts down and you can be updated at the same time.

For the past 3-4 months work has just been getting worse for me. I can also say my attitude has gotten worse, to be fair, but I'm having some thoughts about my career and what I'm doing with my life. I've been told what I'm feeling is normal, it's called that 20 something crisis, where you get out of school, realize the real world isn't what you thought it would be, suck it up, sedate yourself to work, and just get through it. There has to be more to it than this though. If all work were like this, there's no motivation to better yourself. If engineering is like this, I'm not sure what would motivate someone to do this. I can honestly say the challenge in school is what pushed me. To prove to myself that I could do it was the best reward ever. To look back and know I made it, was an accomplishment that I think will be hard to surpass. But what now?

What if what you thought you always wanted to do, wasn't the case? For a long, long time I have always wanted to design car parts. I've always wanted to see a car driving, with a part I designed on it. I'll get that chance in a few months, so it's here. What happens when you achieve that goal you wanted to so badly, so early in your career? I suppose the logical answer would be that your goal wasn't high enough, or that you need a new goal to work towards. What if you don't know what that goal is though? I'm in this rut right now. I'm achieving the goal I wanted to badly, but I'm only 24 and don't know what else now. What else do I do? I don't want to keep doing this forever. More school seems like a choice, but I have no money right now, and I need money for school.

I admit, a big problem for me, is constantly looking forward. I'm not just content with what I'm doing for the moment. Maybe that's a positive thing, in a way, because you're pushing yourself, but maybe it's also a bad thing because you'll constantly be looking for that thing that makes you happy, and at the end, you'll realize you just wished your whole life away by not enjoying the moment. That's a big problem.

So that's one part of work. That's my attitude, and my outlook. The other concern is that I honestly do question some of our management and the decisions made. Some of these decisions are not what I would consider ethically just. It's hard to watch someone ignore an issue, or take the easy way out, when it's not the right way. I have a hard time stomaching this. Then there's the bullshit. The fakeness, the politics if you will. I will admit, this was a BIG part of me choosing engineering, because I thought, the "games" would be minimized. It literally makes me sick to watch them play out. To listen to someone say one thing, and really "mean" it with passion, then get in a meeting and do the EXACT opposite of what they say - is hard.

So here's what happened last Thursday at work. I had my weekly morning meeting with my manager. He started to pester me about things I had no control over (manufacturing, testing, etc.). I tried to do the normal "I'm taking care of it" stuff, but about half way through I thought to myself "no, David, there's a problem with this - tell him". So I told him how I felt. I told him my patience was running thin, that I had about as much as I could take. He lightened up a bit and instead of taking the authoritative attitude he had more of a helpful approach, which I appreciated. At the end of this meeting, my head started to hurt and it was only 10:00. At 10:30 we had our big engineering meeting, and the chief engineer was a special guest. This was like a bullshit-athon for people in our group. Everyone had to get their words in, everyone had to finish each others sentences to prove they knew more. By this point, I was as apathetic as a person could be, sitting with my eyes closed taking deep breaths. After about 1.5 hours, the meeting was over. I went to my desk, got my car keys, phone, and left. I decided I wasn't coming back for the rest of the day. I came home, and stayed home for the rest of the day. As a precaution, if I had gone back, I probably wouldn't have a job right now.

I know I let it get to me, I know I do. But I am disappointed at times with work, the attitude, the atmosphere, and the politics. I needed a break. So I raked leaves in the yard for the rest of the day, and that was nice.

I'm not sure at this point what I will do. I do know, for now, I'll keep doing the best I can and take that paycheck. The "magic" is gone for the most part, so that spark I had might not be apparant. I'll perform as well as I can. I was told at my midyear review I was a "benchmark" for our group, but I'm not sure I can keep that role up. I will do what I can though. In the meantime, I need to be working on what I want to do. I will be working on this. So, that's work in a nutshell, I can move onto something else.

Gina and I decided not to date anymore. To be honest, I'm fine with that. I didn't feel it going anywhere, and there really was no point to keep it up. It was mutual, and we decided just to stay in touch. Even though we were only 3 years apart, I felt we didn't have a lot in common at all, and I never really felt too comfortable around her. It felt a little fake to me. She's a very nice girl though and I do wish her the best. That's so much shorter than work, huh? I guess you can see where my mind has been.

I'm really looking forward to going to South Carolina this weekend. I mean REALLY looking forward to it. If it weren't planned, I think I would go anyway. I will get an entire 2 weeks there at Christmas and that will be great. I want 2 whole weeks with my family, away from here.

As a side note: Some of this may be seasonal. I'm looking into day lamps, and actually a tanning bed. Not to get tan, but get vitamin D. It literally is dark when I go to work, grey when I'm work, and dark when I get home. I am exposed to no sun. I need to work on that.

Until next time.

A Lot To Do

I haven't forgotten, I promise. Very soon:

- Talk about last week - the horrors, the bad attitude, the "skipping" work
- Talk about this weekend - the rebound, the break up, the ephiphany
- Update Pokemon of the week

It's too late now, but I target tomorrow. Please come back then!

Half Way Through

This week has been pretty good so far. Work has been fine for the most part. I'm trying to be more focused with things outside of work and keep myself busy with things in the evenings that don't involve work - or any aspect of it.

Sometimes when I get distraught, I become more productive and focused on progression. I'm not really sure what's happened, but the past month has been very weird for me. I've been apathetic and uncaring about work - to the point of downright hating it which is not typical for me. Me waking up in the morning and thinking about calling in sick because I don't want to go is not normal for me. I'm feeling better now though, but it's a little scary because I know it's not right. I'm not sure what's triggering it either other than the fact that this is my career - and if I don't like it I'm stuck for a while. I don't think at 24 you should hate your job, so that's what's sad. I also feel bad because I know I'm unappreciative of what I have - and that really is a shame because I have it a lot better of than most people. I suppose I need more goals, but I don't know what they are yet so that's driving me crazy.

I'm hosting the book club at my house this Friday. That means I'm making dinner for everyone. I'm making mini-buffalo chicken sandwiches, coleslaw, and there will be cheese and crackers and grapes.

Europe - A Summary and Recap

A few quick notes about Europe before I begin:

1) It's overpriced
2) French people aren't as bad as people say
3) It's very dog friendly
4) Anything goes in Amsterdam - and I do mean anything

Overall going to Europe for a week was a good experience. It's strange, because while it was LOT of fun and educational, it's just not a place I'd really desire to go back to for a vacation. I guess part of my problem is that I'm not really into history very much. Well, I take that back. I enjoy it, I've just never had any formal education in it; so I'm a little unappreciative of the stuff. I guess this is me being American, but sometimes it's nice to see a new building or a giant shopping center.

Anyway Europe was really great to see. Out of all the places, France was definately my favorite. I was a little nervous about the French, but overall I didn't have any problems. I would make an effort to speak what French I remembered from 7th grade, and when I'd stumble they'd pick up in English.

Instead of saying much more, I'll let some of my favorite pictures speak for themselves:

Politics = Retarded

November 4th cannot come fast enough. Will everyone shut their mouth by then? Probably not, but maybe it will slow down some.

I realize now whenever politics are discussed, why I vote Republican. That is, for the simple fact, that a large majority of Democrats make these outlandish connections and conclusions (i.e. blanket statements) about anything you can imagine, when in reality, the true Democrat agenda should, I think, eliminate bias and grouping everyone into one category. Isn't that taking things by a "case by case" example that Democrats tout so proudly?

What sparked this? A blog I read, and the blog was talking about abortion. The author was pro-choice, very much so, but she went as far as to say that if a person votes for McCain, they don't care about women's health, or women at all for that matter. Stupid. Just because I vote for one candidate does NOT hands down make me an insensitive person who doesn't care about women's health.

What have I learned in the past 24 years of my life about politics? Mostly to go Republican, for the simple fact that it pisses Democrats off and that's good enough for me. I think Paul used the term DemoBRATS and that is clearly becoming the truth.

If someone can logically tell me that having a pro-life attitude makes you uncaring toward women, then maybe I'll change my mind. The simple fact is you can't make that connection.

Sources:

I'm quickly starting to dislike this woman

A little pregnant

Saturday Night Post

I haven't updated the Pokemon of the week in a very long time, so I fixed that tonight.

The leaves are starting to change here. For some reason, the tree in front of my neighbor's house turned a bright vibrant yellow, and all the leaves fell off this past week. The tree in front of my house is still green and hasn't even started to change yet.

Church was really amazing tonight. I feel like I'm growing a lot spiritually lately, or have been for the past few months. Doing the study through Matthew with Dan is really helping me a lot. I'm learning a lot about Jesus as a person, and really examining his life and his teaching style is helping me to learn about who he really was, and what his intentions were. It's pretty amazing, because you learn new things about him that you weren't always taught. One of the biggest suprises is that he had quite an attitude, and didn't put up with BS from anyone. Church tonight was amazing because at the end of the service, they played a choir version of Amazing Grace, and had actual people walk out on stage, one by one, with black posters. One one side was a problem, and the other side had what was happening now because of it. Some examples that stuck out to me were:

Side 1: "Our son was born deaf"
Side 2: "What a beautiful boy God blessed us with!"

Side 1: "Because of promiscuity I had two abortions"
Side 2: "God has forgiven and healed me - I now have twins"

Side 1: "I became a Christian at 59 years old"
Side 2: "Life is just beggining!"

Side 1: "We are barren"
Side 2: "We have adopted 5 amazing children"

Side 1: "My husband a three children were murdered on Christmas Eve"
Side 2: "I will see them again in Heaven!"

It was pretty powerful to see how God works in others. Those were just a few of the ones that stuck out to me.

I think this week at work will be pretty busy. I will be leaving for training in Germany October 25th, so I have a lot of things to do before I leave. This past week at work kicked my butt...to the point I was ready to just quit. Pretty much everything that could get messed up did, and the work kept piling on and on. E-mails flodding in with "I need" or "I'm requesting". I'm just going to take it one day at a time and keep doing the best I can. Wish me luck

Apathy and a Jacket

Apathy isn't really that great, but it's creeping in me pretty quickly. I can pinpoint a few reasons...but, that's neither here nor there.

Instead I want to talk about a new jacket I'm getting. I have a really nice, L.L. Bean jacket I use in the winter. I also have a fleece zip up that's good to use when it's chilly. I wanted an "intermediate" jacket that is good for the October / November weather. Actually, since I'm hot natured I can use it a long time. In California I found a really nice Northface jacket I wanted. It was the windwall 2, and it was $129. No thank you.

I decided to wait until I got back to Michigan, and saw it here. $129. No thank you. Ebay, yes please. Ebay had the jacket I wanted (it was a Windwall 1, not a Windwall 2) for $56 brand new. So I bought it and it shipped yesterday. So in about 3 more days I should have my new jacket.

I'm reading a book of short stories called "Pieces" right now edited by Steven Chbosky. That reminds me, I need to check on internet/cable options. I only want the internet. I've decided I can do away with cable TV. I don't think I've watched TV...in...weeks really. I watch more movies.

We'll see when this apathy thing goes away...it's a weird feeling to me.

A Bad Day Post

I used to care about politics. I used to think it mattered, and that it made a difference. This election year I am apathetic, and it's sad to say. I will vote, only so I can complain in 3 years if I feel like it, but not because I think it matters. I just don't care. I think things are screwed up right now, and I think any change will be a good one.

On that note, what makes me more apathetic is someone who sends political e-mails at work. These aren't the "joke" e-mails either, it's bashing one party or the other trying to push your own view. Work lately sucks enough as it is, and I don't really want political trash making it any worse.

On another note, please don't ask me to discuss politics with you, only to have you attack my view on certain issues, or give me the "you're ignorant" face if I don't share your point of view.

On one more not, today sucked if you can't tell already. It was just one of those days where you want to crawl under the covers and not come out until tomorrow.

On The Way To California...

I’m sitting here right now on an airplane, so I decided it’s a good time to do a blog post. The only catch is the lady in front of me decided she needed her seat reclined, so my arms are in a very uncomfortable position right now, so we will see how long I last. Alright, airports to me are one of the best places to observe. You can observe people, trends, and my personal favorite thing is to pick up on things you don’t normally question. So, for you now, my list of observations about airports in general.
• A luggage store in an airport. First of all, WHY? Why would a person buy luggage in an airport? I’m not talking about handbags or carryons either, I’m talking about I’m going to China for a month type luggage. The hardshell kind with wheels and locks. Call me crazy, but shouldn’t you have that sort of stuff before you travel? I would think so. The only reason I could come up with to have a luggaage store in an airport is it’s a good way to advertise, and it’s the store’s chance to have a showroom of sorts. I would imagine the stores themselves don’t have very much sales, but probably have a lot of online and catalague sales. I guess this gives them a good opportunity to show off their luggage, and they probably can sell it easier by showing people what’s wrong with their current luggage, and why they need new luggage. As for me, I like to travel as light as possible. This usually means an Adidas duffle bag for a long weekend trip, which is not checked, so my shoulder is in severe pain while walking from gate A23 to C16. That was an observation I made early this morning.
• Is it necssary to have a used needle disposal bin in the bathroom? I have never seen this before, and it was a little disturbing. Is this for herion addicts or diabetics? I know certain people have to take insulin shots, I have just never in my life seen a used needle disposal bin in a public restroom, let alone an airport restroom. If you’re a diabetic, do you worry about stuff like this, like where to dispose of your used needles? Do you buy a new needle all the time to shoot up with, or do you keep one nice “velvet touch” needle you clean off and use repeatedly? I hope I never get to be a diabetic.
• People’s faces in airports sometimes…just irk me. It’s not like a face you’d see in Meijer, or at work, but there’s this face people give you in an airport that bothers me. That’s vague, so let me explain. Before the plane boards, you always have the brillaint person who decides they’ll get up and go stand at the counter so they can be the first one on the plane. They stand up there for a good 20 minutes before boarding even begins. They stand there with a look on their face that says “I’m first…and you’re not…I’m on top of things”. Well, they’re really not on top of things because that’s stupid, and I’ll tell you why that’s stupid. Those people, the ones you HAVE to be first on the plane 90% of the time have an aisle seat. So, congratulations, you get your seat first but you have to get up to let the middle person, and the window seat person in. That’s dumb. I enjoy being the window seat person so they have to get up again.
• Smells. This trip so far, has been full of smells, bad ones. The lady right next to me now smells horrid. It’s a smell that comes, and goes. I can’t tell if she’s farting, or if it’s a random smell the comes out every now and then, but it stinks and I don’t like it. My other plane smelled like old cologne.
My arms are starting to cramp now. Actually it’s my wrists. I will end this for now. I bet there will be more observations to make note of, but that’s all for now. I see mountains below, maybe we’re over Colorado?

I'm Out

I'm leaving to go to California tomorrow for 4 days, so I will be on hiatus until Wednesday!

Good Start

Today was a good day for a few key reasons:

1) I jumped a pay grade at work (a raise!)
2) I went to the dentist, and had no cavities
3) I got a free Starbucks coffee and coconut chocolate chip cookie at the dentist
4) I saw the Transformers movie

I was greeted by someone this morning having a panic attack about what happened to the stock market last night. That is probably THE dumbest thing to worry about, in my opinion. Worrying, while not a good way to fix anything, will certainly not fix Wall Street. So I don't let it bother me. I think I pissed someone off by saying "It's not affecting my day to day routine, so it doesn't concern me". That might sound immature and brash, but honestly...does it? If what happens on Wall Street doesn't stop you from getting a paycheck and buying groceries or paying for shelter...what's the difference? All I know is I live happier not concerning myself with it, so I'm good.

While at the dentist, I saw Sarah Palin on TV. I like her. She expressed her view on a key issue, and said she was "unapologetic" about it. That was a nice way of telling people too bad if they didn't like it. I also like her because people seem to be picking on her for the dumbest things...and that gives her more credit in my book.

PS...why don't I see any dirt on Barak Obama on the magazines in the stores? So far all I see is McCain and Palin bashed for *gasp* having a pregnant teenage daughter!

Picture Post

Picture post! Ready, let's go.

This first set is of a Saturn I bought this past week. For $50. It runs, it drives, it looks ugly, it has 245,000 miles, and it's a piece of junk. It will have parts taken off that are worth money, and then sent to a car crusher. Yes, that is tape on the driver's seat.








Here's a picture of my chimney. It's damaged, and I want to fix it before winter. It looks simple enough actually. I climbed on the roof today and took a look, then made a trip to Home Depot and bought my supplies (after speaking with a worker about concrete patching). This should be do-able


I wore this shirt today, and it reminded me of this picture. This is Paul and I from 2005 doing Thermodynamics homework.

Yuck

You know those times when you are just in a disgusted attitude, about something you can't really pinpoint? I'm in one of those right now, and it's not just one thing I can point to, but a lot of little things. I'm really tired too, this week took it out of me.

I'll have something better to post tomorrow, it's actually a suprise so stay tuned!

Babysitting

You know what's really fun to wake up to at 5 AM on a Monday morning? A crate full of dog poop. First of all, this has nothing to do with Walter. Walter sleeps beside my bed in his tiny little bed, like a well behaved dog deserves to do. These dogs that were in crates, in my basement, are spawns of Satan. One really is, the other one is probably a deamon spawn. That's all I really want to say about them. I never knew I could despise an animal so much. Ok, I'll stop now.

I want to talk about movies. I was thinking today that there is not just ONE movie I like. I think I have a top 6 or 7, so I'm going to list them here. They're in no particular order, just movies that I would consider my favorite.

1) Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
2) American Beauty
3) Elizabethtown
4) The Fountain
5) The Rules of Attraction
6) Maria Full of Grace
7) Requiem For A Dream

If you're reading this, even if you're some random person from Latvia, take a second to add a comment and list your top movies.

My small group/Bible study has been going really well. There's only about 5 us each week, even though there's technically 8 of us in the group, but we're all in the same age group give or take 2-3 years and have a lot in common.

I'm certain now I'll be back in South Carolina for the Clemson vs. Duke Homecoming game on November 5th. Myself and two other people from work will be driving down for a short weekend, but it should be a lot of fun.

I have to go before I rip this dog's vocal chords out.